1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:04,379 Here's what you missed. Quinn was dating Sam. 2 00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:05,713 Then she kissed Finn. Santana told Sam. 3 00:00:05,798 --> 00:00:07,924 - Now they've started dating. - Biebalicious. 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,842 Will's not dating anyone and says he's over Emma, 5 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,969 but it seems like he's still got a thing for her even though she's married. 6 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,304 Kurt's really into Blaine and Blaine likes Kurt, 7 00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:14,889 but he says he just wants to stay friends. 8 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,599 And that's what you missed on Glee. 9 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,104 - Figgins. 10 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,023 - You wanted to see me? - William, we have an epidemic on our hands. 11 00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:26,609 - Head lice? - Worse. Giggle juice. 12 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:28,194 I'm sorry. What? 13 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,114 Alcohol, William. The wet devil. 14 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,032 Our children are so brazen... 15 00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,576 they're showing up to school wasted. 16 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:38,705 And not wasted on learning, Will... wasted on booze. 17 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,915 Why, just this week, we've had five suspensions... 18 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,084 for intoxication on school grounds. 19 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,752 Figgins! 20 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,212 You rock! 21 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,797 Yeah, man! 22 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,591 Six suspensions. 23 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,885 I don't get it. Drinking's never been a problem at this school. 24 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,889 That's because there are new alcoholic beverages targeted to kids, Will. 25 00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:01,352 Just listen to the radio. Pop music now glorifies binge drinking. 26 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:05,732 Just listen to any hit by pop sensation "Ke-dollar-sign-ha." 27 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,650 Oh. You... You mean Ke$ ha? 28 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,610 We must do something to protect our children, Will. 29 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:13,072 I-I totally agree. How-How can I help? 30 00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,158 I have decided to make this week... 31 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,535 Alcohol Awareness Week at McKinley. 32 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:21,247 I have contacted Kitty Dukakis, who will be the guest speaker at an assembly... 33 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,708 where your Glee Club will perform a song... 34 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,669 highlighting the dangers of teenage drinking. 35 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,006 Can I count on you, William? 36 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,346 Emma? Hi. 37 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,890 Enough with us not being friends. 38 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,433 I heard through the grapevine... 39 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,268 that you and Carl started looking for a tract house. 40 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:45,605 I just wanted to say that I'm genuinely happy for you. 41 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,900 Thank you. That's really sweet. 42 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,818 Two-slicer. 43 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,528 Do you want to catch up? 44 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,655 Yeah. Sure. 45 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,950 How have you been? 46 00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,119 Busy. Yeah. 47 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:01,621 Glee Club's gearing up for regionals... 48 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,664 I, um, love hearing about the Glee Club, 49 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,208 but I'm actually more interested in you... 50 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,751 you know, how you're doing. 51 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,961 Me? Are you dating anybody? 52 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:11,839 No. No? 53 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,801 Maybe you should. 54 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:17,804 You know, Ella, I think Will should really concentrate on his treatment... 55 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,556 before he tries another relationship with an early hominid, 56 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,641 even a human female. 57 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,227 - Treatment? - Alcoholics Anonymous, Will. 58 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:28,981 I suggest you preemptively check into rehab, as you are a future alcoholic. 59 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:31,275 I mean, come on. Look where you are. 60 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,654 You're coaching a glee club that can only beat choirs of old people. 61 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,365 You're rehashing the details of your failed marriage... 62 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:42,203 with the very lemur who rejected the bestial horror of your craven sexual advances. 63 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,997 And when my glee club crushes you at regionals, 64 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,209 well, the last ounce of meaning will drain from your life, 65 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,086 and you will turn to drink. 66 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,380 I don't get it. How is it you're now coaching a glee club? 67 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,966 I was so inspired by my stint in the Glee Club... 68 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,135 that I took the trip to Westvale and I volunteered my help. 69 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,138 Unfortunately, the chipper homosexual who coaches Aural Intensity... 70 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,391 had a terrible fall down the stairs. 71 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,981 I'm okay. Don't worry. 72 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:17,321 Not to be alarmed. Doctors say he will be fine... 73 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,282 provided they can get the swelling in his brain under control. 74 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,409 Okay, sorry. I still don't understand. 75 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,786 How can the school let you coach Aural Intensity? 76 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,371 News flash, Imelda. 77 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,748 There's no one lining up to coach glee clubs, 78 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,667 because it's a sucky job for losers. 79 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,628 But there was an opening, and I am a champion. 80 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,797 Oh, Will. Here's the book by Bill W... 81 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,633 outlining the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. 82 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,510 I can't wait for you to start climbing those steps. 83 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,304 'Cause when you get to the top, 84 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,306 I'm gonna knock you back down. 85 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,145 Whassup, my hot little Jewish-American Princess? 86 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,897 What do you want, Puckerman? 87 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,774 Word on the street is your dads are out of town and you're alone in your house. 88 00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,568 They are on the Rosie O'Donnell cruise. 89 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,153 Who told you that? 90 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,447 This is the kind of information a guy like me tends to know. 91 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,574 So, uh, party this Saturday? 92 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,367 I'll bring the beer ball. That's a minikeg. 93 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,077 Forget it. 94 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,621 Oh, come on. Just the Glee kids. 95 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,789 We're losing our minds, all stressed about sectionals and stuff. 96 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,791 Regionals. 97 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,419 Besides, you just want a place to have sex and get drunk. 98 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,254 Yeah. There's a word for that... a party. 99 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,089 - No. No. - 100 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,425 My dads, they left me alone in my house... 101 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,218 because they trusted me to be responsible. 102 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:24,305 They left you alone 'cause you suck and are a total bore. 103 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,933 - Hey. - Yo. 104 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:30,519 - How's the songwriting going? - Hey. It's going amazing. 105 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,481 I might have a really big hit, which is why I wanted you to come by. 106 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,274 I wanted you to hear it. 107 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,901 Oh. Yeah. Cool. 108 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,986 Come here. 109 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,582 What was that for? To break the tension. 110 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,085 We were boyfriend and girlfriend, Finn. 111 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:57,004 It's silly for us to pretend like we aren't comfortable around each other. 112 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,048 Yeah. Totally. 113 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,925 I know that we have some unresolved feelings, 114 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:04,762 but, like my two new role models Carole King and Gerry Goffin, 115 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,306 I think it's important that we just put them aside... 116 00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,100 and stay focused on our mission, 117 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:12,603 which is just to write an amazing song to win regionals with. 118 00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,939 Well, I have no idea who those people are. 119 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,233 But I'm on board. Let's hear it. 120 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,026 It's just- It's a little rough. 121 00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:22,279 But, uh, I think it's really special. 122 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,161 There you rest 123 00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:32,164 With all the rest 124 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:38,921 Of my accessories on my nightstand 125 00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:42,466 You're red or yellow 126 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,886 And like a good fellow 127 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:52,268 Sometimes you get lost in my mess 128 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,939 But when schoolgirl pigtails won't do 129 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:05,239 And I need to control my do 130 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:08,743 You're the only one I can count on 131 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,037 My headband 132 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,498 You're my headband 133 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,835 Wrapped right around my melon 134 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,129 You're a product like Magellan... Uh. 135 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,673 Hold... Hold on. Hold on. 136 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,133 Is this song about your headband? 137 00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,886 Yes. It's called "My Headband." Right. 138 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,929 They say you should write about what you know. 139 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:32,725 Well, uh, it's really... interesting, 140 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:37,938 but it's not emotional or, like, good. 141 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,482 - It sucks. - Yeah. 142 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,859 How am I supposed to write a song like Joni Mitchell or Carole King? 143 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:45,821 They've lived. Well, maybe if you want to be an artist like them, 144 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,324 you should... do a little living. 145 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,494 You're so right. 146 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:55,998 I mean, even now, it-it- it's Alcohol Awareness Week... 147 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,375 and we're supposed to sing songs about the dangers of drinking, 148 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,127 and I've never even had a drink. 149 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,712 Wait. Seriously? 150 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,214 That's why I never got past second base. 151 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,174 Wait. Where are you going? To find Puckerman. 152 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,803 You know, my journey from little princess to "natural woman"... 153 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,555 begins this Saturday night at my house. 154 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,851 It sounds awful. Is anybody going? 155 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,104 Let me find out. 156 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,688 Did you hear? 157 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,565 Yes. Mercedes just told me. 158 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,526 Tell them I'll go if they go. 159 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,277 Tell them yourself. I ain't no pony express. 160 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,655 You're going, right? 161 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:31,617 Only if there's liquor, because a Rachel Berry party is not something I can do sober. 162 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:32,952 But it's Alcohol Awareness Week. 163 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,955 Precisely. And I am aware of how much fun alcohol is. 164 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,998 - Let's ask Puckerman. - You're go for Puck. 165 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,834 Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes. 166 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,961 Can your friend score us some wine coolers? 167 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,629 No, but his I.D. Can. 168 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,422 Well, if we're all in, it's settled. 169 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:50,094 The Rachel Berry house party train wreck extravaganza is officially a go. 170 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,848 Welcome. 171 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:56,350 Kurt. Blaine. 172 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,811 I wasn't expecting you guys. 173 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,356 Kurt's been blackmailing me ever since he saw my browser history. 174 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,024 He kind of insisted on coming. 175 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,110 I'm totally off the clock right now, Rachel. 176 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,903 I'm not a Warbler. I'm just Blaine. 177 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,738 I'm not even wearing my uniform. 178 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,782 So, this is your dads' Oscar room. 179 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,243 Yes. They transformed our ordinary basement... 180 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,621 - for our famous annual Oscar parties. - Is that a stage? 181 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,708 I kind of like to give impromptu performances for our neighbors sometimes. 182 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,210 Hey, girlfriend. Having fun? 183 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,795 Yeah. 184 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,298 Awesome party. 185 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:33,429 Uh, okay. Let's, uh... Let's go over the rules. 186 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,057 Everybody gets two drink tickets to keep things from getting out of hand. 187 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,393 We are serving wine coolers today. 188 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,187 That is our specialty drink. 189 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,981 It's actually all we have. 190 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,278 Brittany! Remember the rules. No sitting on anything. 191 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,113 Okay. Okay, everybody. 192 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,616 Cheers! 193 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,035 Great party, Rachel. We gotta run. 194 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,329 Yeah, dinner reservations. 195 00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,789 But-But we... We haven't even played celebrity yet. 196 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,917 I... 197 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,127 Wh... Why is everybody leaving? 198 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,463 Because this party blows. 199 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,382 I haven't even had my first sip yet. 200 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,928 How am I supposed to write "Both Sides Now" if I can't even throw a party? 201 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,222 Look, if you want everyone to stay, 202 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,891 you have to let me break in your dads' liquor cabinet. 203 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,976 No one's gonna get buzzed off two wine coolers. 204 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,646 I'll replace it before they get home. 205 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,485 Let's party! 206 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,404 Poppin' bottles in the ice 207 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,156 Like a blizzard 208 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,701 - Now I'm feelin' so fly like a G6 209 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:41,413 - Let's go! - Like a G6, like a G6 210 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:45,542 - Now I'm feeling so fly like a G6 211 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,546 - Mike, get off! 212 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,799 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 213 00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,968 Chug! Chug! Chug! 214 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,554 It tastes like pink. 215 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,682 It tastes like pink! 216 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,850 Pink! 217 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:15,531 Are you not drinking? No. Designated driver. 218 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:18,993 What about you? I'm still trying to impress Blaine. 219 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,036 Can't get too sloppy. 220 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,956 Clearly, he doesn't have the same concern. 221 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,332 Hey! 222 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:29,420 It is so cool that you and Kurt are brothers. 223 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,214 Right? Like, brothers! 224 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,009 Wow! You're so tall. 225 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,470 You having fun, Blaine? Yeah. 226 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,764 This is the best party ever! 227 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,851 Finny. Dance with me. 228 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,521 We had it going on, right? 229 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,524 I wasn't making it up or anything? 230 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,944 I would do anything for you. Anything! 231 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:57,239 Okay, Rachel. Since this is your first time at this... Sit down? 232 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,074 - I'm gonna break it down for you. - Okay. 233 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:03,829 Guys and girls fall into certain archetypes when they get drunk. 234 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:08,000 Exhibit "A": Santana... the weepy, hysterical drunk. 235 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,835 You like her more than me. 236 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,421 She's blonde and awesome and so smart. 237 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,673 Admit it. Just admit it! 238 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,258 No! Kiss me! 239 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,553 Lauren Zizes and Quinn... the "anger girl" drunks. 240 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,347 I can't believe what you did to my body. 241 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,890 I used to have abs. Back off. 242 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,225 Who told you that hairstyle was cool... Geronimo? Chill out. 243 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:29,813 Brittany... also known as the "girl who turns into a stripper" drunk. 244 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,024 Makin' it rain Whoo! 245 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,026 That's my girlfriend. I love you, baby. 246 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,779 Mercedes and Tina... "happy girl" drunks. 247 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,574 Oh! Oh! 248 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:45,287 And then we come around full circle right back to you, Rachel. 249 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,123 And right now you're being the "needy girl" drunk. 250 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,876 Hanging all over me, being overly lovey. 251 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,461 It's not cool. 252 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,634 Well, what kind of girl is this? 253 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,056 Let's spin the bottle! 254 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:07,851 Who wants to play spin the bottle? 255 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,228 Spin the bottle. 256 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,189 Feelin' so fly like a G6 257 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,318 - 258 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:23,534 Johnny, what's the deal, boy? 259 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:24,910 You know what? A reminder... 260 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,578 I owns that guppy mouth. 261 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,664 Those trouty Aerosmith lips belong to me, so... 262 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,966 You know what this is not? Hey, honeys. 263 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,677 It's not a Big Red commercial. No me gusta. 264 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,720 Whoo! Party! 265 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:47,015 It's my turn! It's my turn! 266 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,355 Oh! 267 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,566 This is outstanding! 268 00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:59,695 Blaine Warbler, I'm gonna rock your world. 269 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,073 Yeah! Deep! Deep! 270 00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:05,117 More! More! More! More! 271 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:08,203 Johnny, are you queer, boy? 272 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:12,124 Johnny, are you queer, boy? 273 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,709 Okay, I think we've had enough of that. 274 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,879 Okay! Yeah! 275 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:22,134 Your face tastes awesome. 276 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,052 That was crazy. 277 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,555 I think I just found a new duet partner! 278 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:38,400 You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar 279 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,987 - When I met you You 280 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:46,283 I picked you out I shook you up and turned you around 281 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:50,204 Turned you into someone new New 282 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:54,374 - Don't- Don't you want me? - Don't 283 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:58,587 You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me 284 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,049 - Don't- Don't you want me? - Don't, don't 285 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:06,136 You know I don't believe it when you say that you don't need me 286 00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:09,973 It's much too late to find you think you've changed your mind 287 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:14,228 You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry 288 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:17,606 Don't you want me, baby? 289 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:22,152 Don't you want me? Oh, oh 290 00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:26,532 Don't you want me, baby? 291 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,701 Don't you want me? Oh, oh 292 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:34,790 I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar 293 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,210 - That much is true - True 294 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:42,381 But even then I knew I'd find a much better place 295 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:46,176 - Either with or without you - Without you 296 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,803 Don't Don't 297 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,222 Don't you want me? Don't you want me? 298 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:54,393 You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me 299 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:57,854 It's much too late to find you think you've changed your mind 300 00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:02,317 You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry 301 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,112 Don't you want me, baby? 302 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,572 I want you. I do. 303 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:10,033 Don't you want me? Oh, oh 304 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:14,746 Don't you want me, baby? Oh, oh 305 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:18,333 Don't you want me? Oh, oh 306 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,837 Don't you want me, baby? 307 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,968 Hey, Kurt, come give me a hand with these eggs. 308 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,970 I'll be down in a minute. 309 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:32,097 What the hell is a shirred egg? 310 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,474 Is that- Is that the same thing as a scrambled egg? 311 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,769 Hey, what's this? 312 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:40,230 Today was the day you were gonna teach me all about brunch. 313 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,190 I'll be down in a sec. 314 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,863 Oh, where am I? 315 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,991 Oh. Uh, I'm sorry. My bad. 316 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,876 I need to close my locker, and it's gonna sound like a gunshot. 317 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:05,088 I have had the worst hangover since Saturday, and it's Monday. 318 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,840 I've been dry-heaving all weekend. 319 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,508 When my mother asked what the sound was, 320 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,218 I said that I was practicing birdcalls. 321 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,221 You guys, I can't stop barfing. Please don't say "barf." 322 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:17,142 I caught a whiff of hair spray and went full Linda Blair in the girls' bathroom. 323 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,727 I told my mom I had the flu, 324 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,396 and she made me a traditional tea made out of panda hair. 325 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,398 Can we talk about anything else? 326 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,860 How about some Bloody Marys, y'all? 327 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,196 Are you kidding me? The last thing I want to do is drink. 328 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,908 It'll help your hangover. That's what Bloody Marys are for. 329 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,995 Hair of the dog that done bit yo' ass. 330 00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:41,625 Blame it on the Goose Got you feelin' loose 331 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,294 Blame it on the 'Tron Got you in the zone 332 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:47,005 Blame it on the a-a-a... a-a-a-alcohol 333 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:50,759 Blame it on the a-a-a... a-a-a-a-a-alcohol 334 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,054 Eh, she say she usually don't 335 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,765 But I know that she front 336 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,350 'Cause shorty know what she want 337 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:02,354 But she don't wanna seem like she's easy 338 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,065 I ain't saying what you won't do 339 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,150 But you know we probably gonna do 340 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,278 What you've been feelin' deep inside 341 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,988 Don't lie now 342 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,532 Boy, what you drinkin'? 343 00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:15,325 Gonna let it sink in 344 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,910 Here for the weekend thinkin' 345 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,622 We can see what we can be if we press fast-forward 346 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,208 Just one more round and you're down I know it 347 00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,128 Fill another cup up Feelin' on your butt what? 348 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,295 You don't even care now 349 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,589 I was unaware how fine you was 350 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,633 Before my buzz set in 351 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,593 My buzz set in 352 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:36,179 - Blame it on the Goose Got you feelin' loose - Blame it on the Goose 353 00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,432 Blame it on the 'Tron Got you in the zone 354 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:41,435 - Alcohol - Blame it on a-a-a... a-a-a-alcohol 355 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,604 Blame it on the a-a-a... a-a-a-alcohol 356 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,732 Blame it on the vodka Blame it on the Henny 357 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,526 Blame it on the blue top Got you feelin' dizzy 358 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,487 Blame it on the a-a-a... a-a-a-alcohol 359 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,615 Blame it on the a-a-a... a-a-a-a-a-alcohol 360 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,326 Now to the ballas poppin' bottles with their Henny in their cups 361 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,079 Screamin' money ain't a thing if you ain't throw it up 362 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,457 - In the sky - In the sky 363 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,460 - And hold your drinks up high - Up high 364 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:09,129 And to my independent mamas who can buy they own bottles 365 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,840 If you lookin' like a model when them broke fellas holla 366 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,259 - Tell them bye - Bye 367 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:17,095 - And hold your drinks up high - Up high 368 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,681 Blame it on the Goose Got you feelin' loose 369 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,184 Blame it on the 'Tron Got you in the zone 370 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:27,856 Blame it on the a-a-a... a-a-a-alcohol 371 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,984 Blame it on the vodka Blame it on the Henny 372 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,612 Blame it on that blue top Got you feeling dizzy 373 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,198 Blame it on the a-a-a... a-a-a-alcohol 374 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:40,076 Blame it on the a-a-a... a-a-a-alcohol 375 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,788 - Well done, you guys. 376 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,582 I mean, you always bring it with the singing and the dancing. 377 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,251 But what I was really impressed with today was your acting. 378 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,712 I truly thought that some of you guys were drunk. 379 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,339 We take our craft serious. 380 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,090 Problem is... That-That song is great, 381 00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:57,219 but it- it kind of glorifies drinking, don't you think? 382 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,847 I mean, we're supposed to sing about the dangers of alcohol for this assembly. 383 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,016 Well, good luck finding a song that does that. 384 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,102 Mr. Schue? First of all, that vest is very cute. 385 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:08,271 You are all kinds of awesome. 386 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,525 But second, maybe there's really no songs about the dangers of drinking... 387 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:15,487 because there's really none, as long as you have a proper designated driver. 388 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,113 Have I ever told you how great you are? 389 00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:20,075 Well, Rachel, yeah, driving drunk is dangerous. 390 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,160 And have you guys ever heard of alcohol poisoning? 391 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,079 Yeah, it kills about 400 people every year. 392 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,458 Santana, are you... Are you crying? 393 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,001 I'm okay. I'm okay. 394 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,213 You're such a hypocrite. You drink. Most adults do. 395 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,633 I may have a beer every now and then, but I don't... I don't get drunk. 396 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,553 We're just saying this is a waste of time. We're totally aware of alcohol. 397 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,137 We see adults drinking it and having fun. 398 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,139 Every commercial during NASCAR is for beer. 399 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,767 Okay. Enough, guys. 400 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,769 Look, tomorrow, come with your thinking caps on, 401 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,729 because we're gonna spend the entire day... 402 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,899 - brainstorming ideas for songs to sing at this assembly. 403 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,403 Am I out of touch? 404 00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,697 I used to drink a lot more when I was their age. 405 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,907 Most of the time, it was just to deal with Terri, but... 406 00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,659 I mean, who am I to tell them not to drink... 407 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,703 when I blacked out a couple of times when I was their age? 408 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,914 And I ended up okay. You're taking this way too hard. 409 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,709 Something else going on? Let's see. Um... 410 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,378 My divorce is starting to really sink in. 411 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,423 Sue's coaching my competition at regionals. 412 00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,383 And Emma is looking for a house with her husband. 413 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,468 Is that all? 414 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:23,138 What do you do for stress relief? Exercise. 415 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,308 Well, me, too, but that's a little too close to being productive. 416 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,436 You got to get a little ridiculous, man, burn off some of that angst. 417 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,646 You have any suggestions? Tomorrow night... 418 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,399 you're tagging along with me for my stress relief. 419 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,444 We're going to a little place they call Rosalita's Roadhouse. 420 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:40,488 Isn't that like a honky-tonk bar? 421 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,450 You ain't lived till you've seen me in a cowboy hat. 422 00:20:56,380 --> 00:21:00,342 So far away 423 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:04,471 Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore? 424 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,932 I didn't drink that much. Are you kidding? 425 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,808 You spent the entire night sucking Rachel Berry's face. 426 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,102 That, sir, is what we call rock bottom. 427 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,022 Oh, my God. Speak of the devil. Two medium drips. 428 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,108 Hi, Rachel. Kurt and I were just talking about you. 429 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:20,904 You're such a cutie-pie with your blazer and your pants. 430 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:25,784 So, I have a question for you. 431 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,120 - I wanted to know... - Is she drunk? 432 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,373 Shh, shh, shh, shh. Um, yeah. 433 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,377 Uh-huh. All right, I'll see you then. 434 00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:37,754 Okay, bye. 435 00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,758 Rachel just asked me out. 436 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,886 Oh, that's amazing. She's got a girl crush on you. 437 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,307 Wait a second. Why'd you say yes? 438 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:52,060 You can't lead her on. Who says I'm leading her on? 439 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,397 You can't be serious. 440 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,316 When we kissed, it- it felt good. 441 00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:00,318 It felt good because you were drunk. 442 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:02,612 What's the harm in going out on one crummy little date? 443 00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,156 You're gay, Blaine. I thought I was. 444 00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:08,201 But I've never even had a boyfriend before. 445 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,745 Isn't this the time you're supposed to figure stuff out? 446 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,123 I can't believe that I'm hearing this right now. Maybe I'm bi. I don't know. 447 00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,291 "Bisexual" is a term that gay guys in high school use... 448 00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:18,670 when they want to hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change. 449 00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:21,131 Whoa. Wait, wait. Why are you so angry? 450 00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,382 Because I look up to you. 451 00:22:22,466 --> 00:22:24,801 I admire how proud you are of who you are. 452 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,555 I know what it's like to be in the closet, and here you are about to tiptoe back in. 453 00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:32,267 I'm really sorry if this hurts your feelings or your pride or whatever. 454 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:35,603 But however confusing it might be for you, 455 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,856 it's actually a lot more confusing for me. 456 00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:41,401 You're 100% sure who you are. Fantastic. 457 00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:44,362 Well, maybe we all can't be so lucky. 458 00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:46,573 Yeah, I have... I've had a lot of luck, Blaine. 459 00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:49,909 I was really lucky to be chased out of high school by a bully who threatened to kill me. 460 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,954 And why did he do that? Because he didn't like who I was. 461 00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:56,624 Sort of exactly what you're saying to me right now. Isn't it? 462 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:03,298 I am... I'm searching, okay? 463 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:06,509 I'm honestly just trying to figure out who I am, 464 00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:09,054 and for you, of all people, to get down on me for that... 465 00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:11,806 I didn't think that's who you were. 466 00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,559 I'll see you. 467 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:17,729 I'd say "bye," but I wouldn't want to make you angry. 468 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,526 - Bring it in. - Cheers! 469 00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:26,154 - Come on, brother. - Last night 470 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,491 - - Yeah! Go, Will! 471 00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,745 - Get up! Yeah! 472 00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:35,705 A hundred bottles of beer on the wall 473 00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:38,500 I thought I could drink 'em all 474 00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:41,753 - Whoo! 475 00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:43,838 Bring it in. 476 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,262 Whoo! 477 00:23:51,347 --> 00:23:53,264 Welcome, everybody, to Rosalita's Roadhouse, 478 00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:55,433 where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. 479 00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:58,520 A special warm welcome to Will Schuester, 480 00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,313 joining us here for the first time tonight. 481 00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:02,774 My friend Shannon the Cannon here... 482 00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:05,985 tells me Will wants to hop up on stage and sing us a song. 483 00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:08,738 Come on up here, cowboy. 484 00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:12,367 Whoo! 485 00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:19,332 I'll get you for this. 486 00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:23,419 You know... You know, I... I am not singing anything without my gal here. 487 00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:25,672 Come on, bring her a microphone. Bring her a microphone. 488 00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:34,139 I wanna tell you a story... 489 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,308 about the house-rent blues. 490 00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:43,148 I come home one Friday, 491 00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:46,234 had to tell the landlady I done lost my job. 492 00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:48,820 Mm-mmm. 493 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:51,698 She said, "That don't comfort me. 494 00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:54,325 Long as I get my money next Friday." 495 00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:57,662 Now, next Friday come, I didn't get the rent- 496 00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:59,581 and out the door I went. 497 00:25:00,875 --> 00:25:06,337 One bourbon, one scotch, one beer 498 00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:11,009 Well, I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when 499 00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:15,263 I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey scotch and gin 500 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,308 Gonna get high, man, I'm gonna get loose 501 00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:22,145 Need me a triple shot of that juice 502 00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:25,481 Gonna get drunk Don't you have no fear 503 00:25:25,566 --> 00:25:28,776 I want one bourbon one scotch and one beer 504 00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:34,616 One bourbon, one scotch, one beer 505 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,454 I ain't seen my baby since the night before last 506 00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:43,082 Gonna get a drink, man, I'm gonna get gassed 507 00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:47,086 Gotta get high, man, I ain't had enough 508 00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:50,340 Need me a triple shot of that stuff 509 00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:53,635 Gonna get drunk Won't you listen right here? 510 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:56,888 I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer 511 00:25:56,972 --> 00:26:01,309 One bourbon, one scotch, one beer 512 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,728 I want all that! Come on now! 513 00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:09,651 One bourbon, one scotch, one beer 514 00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:11,444 Whoo! Yeah! 515 00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,738 Whoo! Drinks on me! 516 00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:16,532 Thanks for helping with the party cleanup, 517 00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:18,826 especially considering that you didn't even drink. 518 00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:21,621 - I was in the neighborhood. - At 10:00? 519 00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:24,749 Are you sure you're not here just to find out how my date with Blaine went? 520 00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:26,209 Oh, was that tonight? 521 00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:31,005 Look, we're friends, so I'm gonna be honest with you. 522 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,175 The date was lovely. 523 00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:36,636 We saw Love Story at the revival theater. 524 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,554 We even dressed up as the characters. 525 00:26:38,639 --> 00:26:41,307 That's not gay at all. Did you kiss? 526 00:26:41,392 --> 00:26:45,228 No. Our lips spent the evening mouthing Ali MacGraw's dialogue. 527 00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:48,106 Frankly, I did expect a little snog as the date drew to a close, 528 00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:50,817 but I guess the timing just wasn't right. 529 00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:52,860 Or the blood-alcohol level. 530 00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:55,280 Look, I know that you have feelings for him, 531 00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:57,991 and I'm sure you think I'm crazy for asking him out. 532 00:26:58,075 --> 00:27:00,159 But Blaine is obviously conflicted, 533 00:27:00,244 --> 00:27:02,078 and if he turns out not to be gay, 534 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,830 well, then I guess I will have done you a favor. 535 00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:07,500 And I'm doing you a favor by telling you that Blaine... 536 00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:11,629 is the first of a long line of conflicted men that you will date... 537 00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:14,757 that will later turn out to be only the most flaming of homosexuals. 538 00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,926 Blaine and I have a lot in common. 539 00:27:17,011 --> 00:27:20,305 A sentiment expressed by many a hag about many a gay. 540 00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:22,932 Look, I don't doubt that you and Blaine... 541 00:27:23,017 --> 00:27:26,811 would have a jolly good time shopping at Burberry... 542 00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,731 and arguing who would make the better Rum Tum Tugger. 543 00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,941 I don't dispute that. 544 00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:35,737 But there's something you and Blaine will never have, and that's chemistry. 545 00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:40,158 Fine. 546 00:27:40,242 --> 00:27:42,744 Then I'm gonna prove you wrong. 547 00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:45,538 I'm gonna take the beer goggles off, and I'm gonna kiss him sober. 548 00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:47,665 And if the spark is still there, 549 00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:49,667 then I'm taking you to your bakery of choice... 550 00:27:49,752 --> 00:27:52,587 for a piping-hot slice of humble pie. 551 00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:03,389 Whoa! Easy, partner. 552 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,100 Can I get you something to drink? Oh, no, no, no, no. 553 00:28:06,226 --> 00:28:08,603 Taxi's waiting. All right. 554 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,563 How are you not drunk? 555 00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:12,273 We drank exactly the same amount. 556 00:28:12,358 --> 00:28:13,816 I got a hollow leg. 557 00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:16,235 You got a hollow leg! 558 00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:20,198 Hey, you gonna be okay? Oh, yeah, yeah. 559 00:28:20,282 --> 00:28:23,159 I just- just got to grade some papers, and... 560 00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:26,037 I'm still looking for a song for the kids to sing... 561 00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:28,790 at the Alcohol Awareness assembly. 562 00:28:28,916 --> 00:28:32,919 Oh. Yes. Uh, the kids want to sing a Ke$ ha song, 563 00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:37,048 but, uh, it just makes drinking seem like a lot of fun. 564 00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:38,758 Sometimes it is fun. 565 00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,968 Exactly. 566 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,137 Like tonight. 567 00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:44,972 That's the most fun I've had in a really long time. 568 00:28:45,099 --> 00:28:47,016 I mean, we were careful. Mm-hmm. 569 00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:49,185 We didn't drive. Mmm. Yeah. 570 00:28:49,311 --> 00:28:51,062 What's wrong with that? Nothin'. 571 00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:52,647 Nothin's wrong with that. 572 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,816 Except we're not teenagers anymore, Will. 573 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:57,944 You know? 574 00:28:58,028 --> 00:29:01,030 The way I see it, you can't just lecture kids. 575 00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:03,032 I mean, we can't stop them from drinking... 576 00:29:03,117 --> 00:29:05,410 if that's what they're gonna do. 577 00:29:05,494 --> 00:29:08,413 I mean, the best we can do is make them aware of the dangers... 578 00:29:08,497 --> 00:29:12,166 and just hope they're smart enough to make a good decision on their own. 579 00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:16,754 I don't know. 580 00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:18,339 You nut. 581 00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:20,925 All right, buddy. I'm out of here. Don't get up. 582 00:29:21,051 --> 00:29:23,302 I'm not. I'm gonna stay right... 583 00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:24,595 Hey. Yes? 584 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,722 You just make sure you drink lots of water. 585 00:29:26,849 --> 00:29:28,433 Okay? Mwah! 586 00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:30,435 I love you. 587 00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:31,894 Right back at you. 588 00:29:31,979 --> 00:29:35,523 Yay. Happy face. Okay. 589 00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:39,694 That was a valiant effort. 590 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:42,363 You get A-plus. That's how I roll. 591 00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:45,491 I don't even know who you are. 592 00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:51,914 Oh, what the hell. 593 00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:59,005 Hey there, sexy lady. 594 00:29:59,089 --> 00:30:04,469 I know it's late, and I know you're taken. 595 00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:06,554 I've had a couple drinks, but... 596 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:12,935 there's something I r-really, really want to say to you. 597 00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,191 William! 598 00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:21,152 Can't wait to see what your New Directions are planning for the assembly. 599 00:30:21,236 --> 00:30:24,655 I know we've had issues with your kids performing in front of the school, 600 00:30:24,740 --> 00:30:27,033 but I have a really good feeling about this one. 601 00:30:27,117 --> 00:30:28,493 Why are you screaming? 602 00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:30,328 I'm not screaming. Are you okay? 603 00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:32,663 Oh, wow, your cologne is just really strong. 604 00:30:32,748 --> 00:30:34,582 It's Drakkar Noir! 605 00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:35,917 - Hey. - Emma. 606 00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:39,212 Oh, Will, you look terrible. 607 00:30:39,296 --> 00:30:42,423 Considering how much I drank, I think I'm lucky to be alive. 608 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:44,383 Although I kind of wish I was dead. 609 00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:47,720 I am so embarrassed. Why? 610 00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:51,349 I mean, besides the fact that you drank like a frat boy and you're well into your 30s. 611 00:30:51,475 --> 00:30:53,976 Please don't make me say it. Sorry? 612 00:30:54,061 --> 00:30:55,478 I don't even remember half the things I said to you. 613 00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:57,188 I... I'm not following. 614 00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:58,898 I-I drunk-dialed you last night. 615 00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:00,483 No, you didn't. 616 00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,360 I mean, I didn't get a single message. 617 00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:05,071 What would you have said that you'd be embarrassed about? 618 00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:07,949 Nothing. 619 00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:11,911 I-I-I... Just must have been a really elaborate, uh, booze dream, yeah. 620 00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:13,788 It's time, Will. 621 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:17,124 I've arranged to have you committed for 48 hours, and it's not gonna be easy. 622 00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:19,752 Those state institutions tend to turn the fire hose... 623 00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:21,879 on patients going through the D.T.'s. 624 00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:24,799 But at this point, I have no other option but a forced intervention. 625 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:27,718 Sue, I do not have a drinking problem. 626 00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:29,720 Really? Then what's with the Corey Hart imitation? 627 00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:32,848 Will, I'm trying to save you. 628 00:31:32,933 --> 00:31:35,476 Why? All you ever want to do is destroy me. 629 00:31:35,561 --> 00:31:38,354 Yeah, well, it's kind of like nursing a P.O.W. Back to health... 630 00:31:38,438 --> 00:31:40,648 so he's at his strongest when you torture him to death. 631 00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:42,191 All right, Will. 632 00:31:42,276 --> 00:31:45,194 You had your chance to do this the easy way. 633 00:31:45,279 --> 00:31:47,530 Soufflé is all about the whites. 634 00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:49,824 If you get yolk in it or you don't let it stiffen properly, 635 00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,951 then you might as well be making pancakes. 636 00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:55,079 All right. You think the one we already made is ready yet? 637 00:31:55,163 --> 00:31:58,583 - I hope so. - All right, let's check it out. 638 00:31:58,667 --> 00:32:01,168 Here we go. Ta-da. 639 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,796 You didn't leave enough room in the dish to let it rise. 640 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,840 Hey, I'm sorry. Why are you being so hard on me? 641 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,593 I would've been happy with you teaching me to make toast. 642 00:32:08,677 --> 00:32:10,177 Okay. I'm sorry, Dad. 643 00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:13,097 I know this is supposed to be bonding time, but it's Blaine. 644 00:32:13,181 --> 00:32:16,100 He's interested in Rachel. 645 00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:19,312 I'm confused. I thought he was gay too. 646 00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:23,858 Oh, he is, he is. He's just... experimenting. 647 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:26,527 Yeah. He's not the only one. 648 00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:27,987 What does that mean? 649 00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:31,657 Look, I need you to ask me before you have someone sleep over. 650 00:32:31,742 --> 00:32:34,452 We-We were fully clothed the entire time. 651 00:32:34,536 --> 00:32:36,579 Blaine was too drunk to drive, so I let him crash here. 652 00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:39,123 - I was being responsible. - You kids are drinking now? 653 00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:42,710 Finn and I didn't have any, if that's what you're worried about. 654 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:47,214 No. I'm worried about you being inappropriate in my house. 655 00:32:47,299 --> 00:32:51,844 And if Puckerman had a sleepover with Finn, would that be inappropriate? 656 00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:53,929 - That's different. - Because they wouldn't have sex? 657 00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:59,977 No, I would never allow Finn to have a girl sleep over in his bed. 658 00:33:00,062 --> 00:33:01,979 But would it make you uncomfortable if he did? 659 00:33:02,064 --> 00:33:04,482 Hey, when have I been uncomfortable with you being gay? 660 00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:07,610 So it's not being gay that upsets you. It's just me acting on it. 661 00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:10,363 I don't know what two guys do when they're together. 662 00:33:10,447 --> 00:33:13,491 You know, I sat through thatwhole Brokeback Mountain. 663 00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,993 From what I gather, something went down in the tent. 664 00:33:16,078 --> 00:33:18,079 What do you want from me here, Dad? 665 00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:21,040 I want you to apologize for being inappropriate... 666 00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:23,668 and promise me you'll never do it again. 667 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,714 Fine. I'm sorry. 668 00:33:28,799 --> 00:33:33,344 I won't have sleepovers with anyone that might be gay without asking you first. 669 00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:35,554 Thank you. 670 00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:45,564 But maybe you could step outside your comfort zone and educate yourself, 671 00:33:45,649 --> 00:33:50,027 so if I have any questions, I could go to my dad like any straight son could. 672 00:33:55,742 --> 00:33:58,828 Quiet, please. Quiet, please, children. 673 00:33:58,912 --> 00:34:01,330 I would like to wish you and yours... 674 00:34:01,415 --> 00:34:04,542 a healthy and happy Alcohol Awareness Week. 675 00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:07,253 Unfortunately, Kitty Dukakis could not be here, 676 00:34:07,337 --> 00:34:08,838 because of disinterest. 677 00:34:08,922 --> 00:34:11,799 But Lima Police Chief Lawrence Krowley... 678 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:15,845 is here to show you a grisly slide show of auto accidents. 679 00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:18,055 - Take it away, Chief. 680 00:34:18,140 --> 00:34:20,224 - You guys, I'm really nervous. - Thank you, Principal Figgins. 681 00:34:20,308 --> 00:34:24,520 Ke$ ha's been a cultural icon for weeks, and I really want to do her music justice. 682 00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:26,647 - We haven't had enough rehearsal. - Or any at all. 683 00:34:26,732 --> 00:34:29,108 And most of our assembly performances usually end in some kind of riot. 684 00:34:29,192 --> 00:34:31,193 Never fear, teammates. It's a Broadway tradition... 685 00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:33,571 for nervous performers to take a shot of whiskey before going on... 686 00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:36,490 to calm their nerves and to mask the stench of bad dental hygiene. 687 00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:38,826 In that tradition, I have mixed us a playful showbiz cocktail... 688 00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,495 of what was left in my dads' liquor cabinet. 689 00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:43,873 There's some brandy and vermouth and port wine and scotch in here. 690 00:34:43,957 --> 00:34:46,000 Also a little bit of Kool-Aid and some crumbled-up Oreos. 691 00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:48,210 Oh, my God. This tastes like cough syrup. 692 00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:49,754 - There's also cough syrup. - Cheers. 693 00:34:49,838 --> 00:34:52,173 - To Ke$ ha. - Cheers. - To Ke$ ha. 694 00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:54,008 Thank you, Chief. 695 00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:56,427 And now, performing the hit single, 696 00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:58,387 "Tik" and also "Tok"... 697 00:34:58,472 --> 00:35:01,766 by rapper Ke-dollar-sign-ha... 698 00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:03,976 the New Directions. 699 00:35:07,230 --> 00:35:10,524 Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like P. Diddy 700 00:35:10,650 --> 00:35:12,276 What up, girl? Grab my glasses I'm out the door 701 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,362 - I'm gonna hit this city - Let's go. 702 00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:18,657 Before I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack 703 00:35:18,742 --> 00:35:20,493 'Cause when I leave for the night 704 00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,453 I ain't comin' back 705 00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:25,247 I'm talkin' pedicure on our toes, toes 706 00:35:25,332 --> 00:35:27,249 Tryin' on all our clothes, clothes 707 00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:29,335 Boys blowin' up our phones, phones 708 00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:33,589 Drop-toppin' playin' our favorite CDs 709 00:35:33,673 --> 00:35:35,341 Goin' up to the parties 710 00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:38,761 Trying to get a little bit- tipsy 711 00:35:38,845 --> 00:35:40,763 - Don't stop, make it pop 712 00:35:40,847 --> 00:35:43,891 Deejay, blow my speakers up tonight 713 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,727 I'm-a fight till we see the sunlight 714 00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:48,813 Ticktock on the clock 715 00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:51,148 But the party don't stop, no 716 00:35:51,233 --> 00:35:55,277 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 717 00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:56,987 Don't stop, make it pop 718 00:35:57,072 --> 00:36:00,282 Deejay, blow my speakers up tonight 719 00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:02,701 I'm-a fight till we see the sunlight 720 00:36:02,786 --> 00:36:04,912 Ticktock on the clock 721 00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:07,915 But the party don't stop, no 722 00:36:08,041 --> 00:36:10,251 I don't feel good. Power through it! 723 00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:11,919 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 724 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,921 You build me up 725 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:16,006 You break me down 726 00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:17,675 My heart, it pounds 727 00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:19,510 Yeah, you've got me 728 00:36:19,594 --> 00:36:23,889 With my hands up you've got me now 729 00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:26,725 You've got that sound Yeah, you've got me 730 00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:27,977 Oh, oh 731 00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:29,854 You build me up 732 00:36:29,938 --> 00:36:31,647 You break me down 733 00:36:31,731 --> 00:36:33,649 My heart, it pounds 734 00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:35,192 Yeah, you've got me 735 00:36:35,277 --> 00:36:36,193 Oh, Oh 736 00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:37,862 With my hands up 737 00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:42,867 Put your hands up 738 00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:46,954 Now, the party don't start till I walk in 739 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,956 Don't stop, make it pop 740 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,001 Deejay, blow my speakers up tonight 741 00:36:52,085 --> 00:36:54,753 I'm-a fight till we see the sunlight 742 00:36:54,838 --> 00:36:56,964 Ticktock on the clock 743 00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,716 But the party don't stop, no 744 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,552 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... 745 00:37:04,806 --> 00:37:06,265 Oh, my God. 746 00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:17,151 Everybody, drink responsibly. 747 00:37:22,657 --> 00:37:23,949 Heads up, McKinley. 748 00:37:24,034 --> 00:37:27,286 Coach Sylvester's gonna shout at ya. 749 00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:31,624 Students, colleagues, 750 00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:35,461 indeed, all who understand the Queen's English. 751 00:37:35,545 --> 00:37:37,254 We all still quake in terror... 752 00:37:37,339 --> 00:37:40,382 at what we witnessed yesterday at the assembly... 753 00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:44,386 by a Glee Club spiraling out of control. 754 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:48,933 My nose is still filled with the acrid stench of teen vomit. 755 00:37:49,017 --> 00:37:52,019 And there is simply but one person to blame... 756 00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:56,774 the alcoholic teen-vomit fetishist Will Schuester, 757 00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:58,817 the director of that club. 758 00:37:58,902 --> 00:38:03,614 Two days ago, I received a drunk-dial in the middle of the night... 759 00:38:03,740 --> 00:38:05,616 from a horny Will Schuester. Oh, no. 760 00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:07,785 Open your ears, McKinley High, 761 00:38:07,869 --> 00:38:11,622 and behold the awful price of alcoholism. 762 00:38:12,791 --> 00:38:17,544 Hey there, sexy lady. 763 00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:20,714 There's something I really, really want to say to you. 764 00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:23,717 I love how you eat your lunch with your little plastic gloves, 765 00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:27,638 and they crinkle and make the cutest sound I've ever heard in my life. 766 00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:33,102 Why don't you pick up some wine coolers and come over here? 767 00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:35,688 And it'll be just one night of us just getting crazy. 768 00:38:35,772 --> 00:38:37,982 Let's just get crazy! 769 00:38:38,066 --> 00:38:40,943 Just get really crazy and roll around in the hay. 770 00:38:42,529 --> 00:38:44,530 I was just in some hay earlier tonight. 771 00:38:44,614 --> 00:38:47,199 Hey, and I rode a bull, and I was thinking of you. 772 00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,956 Will Schuester, 773 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,166 you've just been publicly humiliated. 774 00:38:56,251 --> 00:39:01,296 And on the road to recovery, it's the very first step. 775 00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:12,016 - We're probably gonna get suspended. 776 00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:13,600 I think you'll definitely get suspended. 777 00:39:13,685 --> 00:39:16,103 - You'll probably all get suspended. - Oh, you're one to talk. 778 00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:19,565 How about you crack a Four Loko, Count Boozy von Drunk-a-ton? 779 00:39:23,069 --> 00:39:24,945 William, Glee Club. 780 00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:27,281 I have one word for you. 781 00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:29,867 Congratulations. 782 00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:33,704 Those special effects at the assembly really paid off! 783 00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:39,251 I had no idea what brilliant musical-comedy performers you all have become. 784 00:39:39,335 --> 00:39:41,503 The kids at this school are scared straight. 785 00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:43,380 Today is the first day in a month... 786 00:39:43,465 --> 00:39:47,801 without a single act of public drunkenness at McKinley High! 787 00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,763 And as a thank you, 788 00:39:50,847 --> 00:39:53,599 here are coupons for half-off frozen yogurt. 789 00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:55,267 Yum. 790 00:39:56,686 --> 00:39:59,313 William, I do think you need to see someone... 791 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,732 about your sex and love addiction. 792 00:40:01,816 --> 00:40:04,359 I've talked to my pastor about you, 793 00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:08,072 and he's willing to meet you at your earliest convenience. 794 00:40:08,156 --> 00:40:09,406 Thank you. 795 00:40:09,491 --> 00:40:11,200 Okay. Achievement! 796 00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:13,285 Achievement! 797 00:40:13,369 --> 00:40:15,662 - I'm torn. 798 00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:17,664 Part of me never wants to drink again because it made me so sick. 799 00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:20,542 But if it weren't for drinking, the assembly would have been a disaster. 800 00:40:20,627 --> 00:40:22,586 I, for one, am never drinking again. 801 00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:24,713 Being thrown up on... it just does something to a person. 802 00:40:24,798 --> 00:40:26,340 All right, guys. 803 00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:29,635 While I'm happy things worked out with the assembly, 804 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,179 I never want to see you guys pull anything like that again. 805 00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:34,723 Drinking while performing is unprofessional. 806 00:40:34,808 --> 00:40:37,768 Drinking while at school is just stupid and, most importantly, 807 00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:39,645 any of you guys drinking at all is illegal. 808 00:40:39,729 --> 00:40:42,064 There's a fair amount of the pot calling the kettle black right now. 809 00:40:42,148 --> 00:40:43,941 That is so racist. 810 00:40:44,025 --> 00:40:47,277 I couldn't agree more, which is why I'm gonna stop drinking. 811 00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:50,072 Not even a beer at the end of the night to take the edge off. 812 00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:52,282 But if you don't drink, what will you have to live for? 813 00:40:52,367 --> 00:40:55,035 I have plenty in my life without beer. 814 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,371 Like what exactly? 815 00:40:57,455 --> 00:41:00,374 The point is I'm gonna stop. And I hope you guys do too. 816 00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:04,670 - Isn't that kind of unrealistic? - Yeah. Honestly, I think it is. 817 00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:07,172 Which is why I'm only gonna ask you to do it until after nationals. 818 00:41:07,257 --> 00:41:09,967 Consider yourselves like prize fighters... 819 00:41:10,051 --> 00:41:12,970 getting ready for a big heavyweight bout. 820 00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:17,808 Now, these are pledge forms, and I want you guys to sign them. 821 00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:20,185 And what if we fall off the wagon again? 822 00:41:20,270 --> 00:41:24,356 Look in the top corner of your form. That's my cell phone number. 823 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,191 - Yes! 824 00:41:26,276 --> 00:41:28,443 Part of your pledge is that if you do slip up, 825 00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:31,280 no matter where you are or what time of the night it is, 826 00:41:31,364 --> 00:41:34,283 I want you to call me to drive you home. 827 00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:36,827 We got lucky this time that the only consequences of your drinking... 828 00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:38,996 was some ill-timed vomiting. 829 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,540 None of us wants to see any of you guys get hurt. 830 00:41:41,624 --> 00:41:43,375 Cool beans, Mr. Schue. I'll sign this. 831 00:41:43,459 --> 00:41:47,254 Me too. Alcohol has done nothing for my songwriting. 832 00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:49,423 What about after we win nationals? 833 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,848 I'm buying the sparkling cider. 834 00:41:57,932 --> 00:41:59,224 - Yes! 835 00:41:59,309 --> 00:42:01,059 You said he comes this way at 3:30. 836 00:42:01,144 --> 00:42:03,353 Like clockwork... for his postrehearsal medium drip. 837 00:42:03,438 --> 00:42:04,938 I just can't wait to lay one on him. 838 00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:07,149 I've got a bad feeling about this, Rachel. 839 00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:10,360 I don't mean to be a scold, but I don't want you to get hurt either. 840 00:42:10,486 --> 00:42:13,155 There's no victory in this for me either way. Who cares about you, buddy? 841 00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,616 I may get a new boyfriend out of this who can keep up with me vocally... 842 00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:17,743 and, in the future, give me vaguely Eurasian-looking children. 843 00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:20,787 There he is, dreamy as ever. 844 00:42:22,165 --> 00:42:23,957 Okay. Wish me luck. 845 00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:26,710 I feel the earth move under my feet 846 00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:29,338 - Hey, Rachel. What's going on? - I feel the sky tumblin' down 847 00:42:29,422 --> 00:42:31,089 A-tumblin' down 848 00:42:31,174 --> 00:42:34,760 I feel the earth move under my feet 849 00:42:34,844 --> 00:42:37,346 I feel the sky tumblin' down 850 00:42:37,430 --> 00:42:38,847 A-tumblin' down 851 00:42:38,932 --> 00:42:41,558 I just lose control 852 00:42:41,643 --> 00:42:44,811 Huh. Yup. 853 00:42:44,896 --> 00:42:47,272 I'm gay. 854 00:42:47,357 --> 00:42:48,690 100% gay. 855 00:42:48,775 --> 00:42:51,485 Thank you so much for clearing that up for me, Rachel. 856 00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:53,862 Save my space in line, will you? I gotta go hit the restroom. 857 00:42:53,947 --> 00:42:55,405 All over 858 00:42:55,490 --> 00:42:58,617 I feel the earth move under my feet 859 00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:00,244 I feel the sky come... 860 00:43:00,370 --> 00:43:03,997 That was hard, wasn't it? Are you kidding? 861 00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:07,668 That was amazing. I am speechless. 862 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:11,213 I just had a relationship with a guy who turned out to be gay. 863 00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:14,091 That is songwriting gold. Oh! 864 00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:18,553 Okay. I have to go compose, but thank you. Thank you! 865 00:43:18,638 --> 00:43:21,974 Tumblin' down 866 00:43:58,886 --> 00:43:59,886 English - US - PSDH